Upset!

For those you know me and currently in touched with me, you know this already...

The purpose of this is to relief myself. I want to realease my disapointments at work. So, here’s my letter to our HR manager:

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Hi Ms. M.

Thank you for the call. You have answered my question however brought me to raise more concerns.

I appreciate Mr. S’ effort in trying to meet what we have previously agreed. I have to give credits to you as well. However, the outcome made me upset.

Facts:
1. PxxK was not something I asked from him. It was an opportunity that came to me 8 months ago, which I missed upon offering the same package by Mr. S. That made me stay (even without any document to support the agreement). The risk I took was big enough for me to reconsider many times. (Here is company A waiting for me to sign with a very clear offer vs. Company S with nothing to hold on to.)

However, our CEO himself guaranteed me that it will happen. I have high respect and trust in him. So, I hold on to his words. I stayed and waited patiently.

2. Retro will be from November 2005.

Concerns:
1. Outcome was not what we have discussed. In TOTAL, maybe yes but if I have known earlier, (I’m sorry to say) I should have grabbed that opportunity.
2. Out of 100%, more or less 30% was put into my base pay and 70% to the productivity incentive. Weight for the incentive is higher than the base pay?
3. There is no surety on the 70%.
4. Incentive is on top of the base pay and is a different story…
5. Retro was only for this year (January to May 2006)
6. Bottomline, it was NOT given to me.

Going back 8 months ago, I was already decided to leave. Thinking that I will not let go of this very good offer. Now, I feel I have lost too much. It’s hard to say “it’s worth the wait”…But of course I don’t want to dwell much on those thoughts anymore…This is an experience for me.

If company S was only transparent that this will not be feasible, then maybe we should not have gone this far and things would have came out differently. We should have moved on separately…

I feel there is no need for me to go back to step one and lobby these things again with the management. I’ve said my piece many times. Implementation took months but I waited and tried to understand. Still at the end of the day, what is important is the bottomline: (1) my obligation and contribution to Company S being my employer and (2) what is due for me as an employee. I feel it should be two-way.
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I'm not afraid to lose my job. Work is much easier to give up than anything else. I know something better is in store for me. I just wanna prove something...

Oh by the way, I was on leave for a week! And it feels GREAT! =)