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Friday, July 04, 2008

Signs NEVER Sleep

Hmm, I admit for some reasons I’m not ready to have a baby yet.

1. I’m afraid of the hospital, blood and needle of all kinds
2. I can’t imagine to take care of myself for somebody else (baby) I'm so carefree!
3. I’m so lazy to take vitamins, medicines, and milk. I just don’t want to follow any rules.
4. I’m worried my mood swings might worsen knowing that there will be big changes in my hormones (I’m sure of this)
5. I’m too busy with work, I don’t know if this is the right time to be pregnant and have a baby
6. I don’t know if I can be responsible enough to raise a child.

All these, I fear. I doubt myself too much when it comes to bearing a child. A priest once said, fear paralyzes us. I know I have to do something.

Today while I was busy thinking of what to reply in one of the business emails I got, one of my colleagues who is sitting next to my cub asked me “You just got married, right? Are you planning to have a baby soon?

I was stunned to hear his question since we’re not that really close. He just joined the company.

I answered him bluntly. “Hmm, I don’t like pa eh. Not yet ready.”

Then, I got the shock of my life when he said stories about his one and a half year old baby boy. The way he expressed his happiness, unexplainably inspiring. It’s like somebody in him telling me to go for it. His stories made me reflect…

He’s right. We will always be very busy and have no time. When I feel it’s the right time, baby might not come…Oh dear that’s more frightening! He even said that once I see the baby come out of me, the things I fear and feeling of pain will be all erased. Awww.

I can’t imagine hearing this from a guy. He was inside the operating room when his wife gave birth. He has high respects for mothers knowing how hard it is to bear a child. The sacrifice of mothers is remarkable!

I admire my mother very much. I want to be like her. Loving her children unconditionally.

Should I be ready? Should I reconsider?

2 comments:

piranha said...

Hi Tam,
You know, I was having a nice afternoon chat with my friend Kinga (who is the mother of my favorite cutie pie, Klara) about having children. I marveled at how she and Konrad (who was my classmate and teammate in the MBA) could have a baby and raise her during the MBA. She said, that it was not that hard. Konrad helped her a lot, so she could also pursue things she liked. Plus, Klara took their tiredness away. She said it was worth it. Looking at Klara, I could not imagine how it would not be worth it. (She is a beautiful angel!)

Kinga also said that couples can have pets, but, for her, a family is not complete without a child. Her advise to me, however, was to take my time and not force myself. She said the timing is different for everyone and you will know when you are ready.

I don't know if this helps, but just a food for thought for you.



P.S.
If you have time, do check out Klarita on my multiply account. She's in the graduation photos and blog.

TBB said...

thanks for this Jeng. BIG help! *wink* Will check on Klara. =) I bet she is a cutie pie.