blessing vs. luck

I had an argument with Xave earlier on where to hear mass. We ended up in Christ the King, my choice. It’s solemn and I feel so close to Him when I’m there.

The homily was about REAL HUMILITY. According to the priest, we have to know what we have and what we can do to extend service to others. At the same time, know what we cannot do and what we do not have so we can trust in Him and be grateful. Vague as it seems, but I got the essence of it.

I have one question in mind, didn’t seek for an answer though. But I found it tonight.

God is so good. I never asked for this. Was thinking it was pure luck. No, it’s a blessing. I know what should be done… I always thank Him for my blessings and I know I have to share it to others.

aug 28

party!

broken vow on a saturday night

Ohhh, I broke my promise. I got myself 4 cutie tops (read: must-have, can be used as inner blouses for my office attires…---do I need to justify further???) from Len and 3 broaches! And I want moooore. Uh well, it’s hard to control myself…I’m such an impulse buyer! It made me feel good though. =) Shopping makes me chirpy! *giggles* and wanna be happy all the time, why not?


Mark and Robert's bday party

Ferrule Libis: Good to see some friends again. Though the place was so smoky and stung my eyes, we stayed longer to bond with friends. It’s hard to complete the gang. Especially now that we are all busy with our own businesses. I’m starting to believe, we’re all getting old! Oops, we’re not getting any younger. Much better. *hahaha*

Jack’s Loft Eastwood: Had a few bottles with some other friends: Yayo, Mica, Kitine, Jojo, Rezel and Mike. Kitine and I wanted to talk for so long now, no chance. Jojo is always with us. I wish her all the best, and hoping that she can get through with “it”.

friday

I’ve realized, I need to update my wardrobe ASAP. This time, for office use. I never thought I’d still go back to work. I’ve disposed all my office attires so I have to invest on new ones again. It means I have to buy new suits, shoes, bags that I can use in the office for me to look mature, older, and wise. Hehehe. So I have to set my mind: No more casual outfits for the mean time! Okay??? *sob*

Went to Glorietta with Xave and got a new suit from The Black Shop. Nice, but it’s not enough. I have to buy more but I can’t find any other shops that carry the styles I like. =(

23 days to go…I still have lots of things to accomplish! Buys clothes, look for a new place to rent, pack things and move in. Argh! I need more time…

I met Len and Lizle in Metro Walk and had coffee. It was nice seeing them again. I missed them. I can say, we’re more beautiful now! *hahaha*

Mga Mare ko, let’s bond again more often.

July 10, Xave's bday party

kuya dick?

Asis, one of my best buds.

rainy days...

Make me feel so lazy. I don’t want to spend the rest of the day sleeping. I’ve had enough sleep last night. There’s nothing good to do but to grab a book and read, especially now that the power goes off frequently. I decided to continue this one book I left long ago---In the Presence of my Enemies by Gracia Burnham. I’m on my last few chapters. I think 3 more chapters to go. I hope to finish it later before I doze off. I still have 2 books lined-up. I wanted to finish all before I start going to work. Hehe.

I visited my dermatologist earlier and had my facial. A must do for me monthly. I waited for 2hrs. It was worth it! I feel cleansed.

Visited Michelle and borrowed her digicam. I will bring it this Saturday, Robert’s birthday party. Michelle and Don couldn’t make it. I want to capture some pics to put in my album.

Michelle, don’t worry. Your cam is in goooood hand! =) By the way, I’ve uploaded my pics na. It was as easy as puffing a cig! *wink* bwahahaha!

I’m having my tea now. I skipped on it this morning for a taho---one of the many things that remind me of my childhood. I don’t eat breakfasts, I just need something hot on mornings, or else my stomach will grumble. Drinking something hot helps me boom easily. I need a cigarette…

my birthday

I had a simple celebration. On the eve of my birthday, we hung out at Michelle's place. Boys had their usual drinking session, while Michelle and I just food tripped. Most of the time I was in front of the computer, making my blog. Well, I find this blogger really dependable.=)

Xave and I enjoyed singing in the car on our way home. It was the Aiza Seguerra's version of How Did You Know. We repeated the track for several times until we arrived home.

On my birthday, I heard mass with Xave and enjoyed the spaghetti, cake and ice cream afterwards. Again, the boys had their drinks. I have to commend Asis for paying a surprise visit. I was touched especially upon seeing him so tired from work. For the record, it was past 11pm when he came. Asis, thanks! =) Tama na sumbat ha!

beyond belief

I can't believe it's almost a year since I left HP. Feels like it's only a month. =) I've learned so much since the day I left work. I needed it. No regrets, I'm happy. I had enough time to find myself, know what I want and what matters most.

And I can't believe I'm 27 now! Feels like I'm just 20. *laughs* Seriously, I'm proud to say that I don't look my age. =) With the way I dress and move I can pass to be a teen! I like wearing clothes in colors. One thing I have to give up on going back to the corporate world. I have to look my age this time, for me to look credible to the people I deal with. So, I'm gonna start to be a lifeless girl again (hopefully in terms of dressing up only) =( Wearing safe colors like black, brown, blue, beige...boring!!! Good thing we have wash days every Friday.

25 days to go...and I will embrace change again. It's a mixed emotion, actually. A bit sad, because I have to leave Xave behind to take care of our biz all by himself. (read: he'll be staying in Bataan, me in Manila) I can feel the excitement also, this is something different for me to try. I know this is one thing we have to do for us to grow more; extend our networks; help others in anyway we can.

guess what???

tammy lyn was a Patient Priest in a past life. http://quizme.stvlive.com/pastlife/quiz.php

think...think...think...part 2

I've decided, I'm going back to work---Samsung. We'll for one, I like the job. It's challenging. I have to make the laser printer #1 by the end of 2005. Whew! I know it entails a LOT of HARDWORK. I accepted the challenge. (read: to beat HP's LaserJet) Wish me luck, friends! =) Second, this is something I'm looking for---something new and different. Lastly, compensation is superb! I don't want to compare but it's much better than HP. *wink* Now, I have less than a month to make my vacation in good use. I started meeting my old friends again. Gosh, I missed them. Missed night life,too. Was with RS, Nino and Asis last Friday. We bar hopped, from Aruba to Tapas Tapas. I always look forward on meeting these 3 guys, all my good friends. As always, we had good conversations. They are very intellectual and I learn a lot from them (considering they are younger than me). Or shall I say, we learn so much from each other. I've known them since 1998 and I'm glad we're still in contact. I saw them evolve. From the kiddo type of guys to mature, responsible young men. Now that they're yuppies, I'm glad we can relate much better. =)

Whatever their achievements are, I'm so happy for them. RS is now with Smart, Nino with URC and Asis with Toyota. We'll be spending more time this coming days for sure. Thank you guys for being great friends! =)

Last Sunday, I spent quality time with Asis, one of my good friends. He gave in to my request on going to Power Plant for me to check the new cosmetic store that I saw in the internet. I don't know, I've been so addicted to make-ups lately. Grrr! As expected, I went home with some items with me. Oooppsss! Xave didn't know about that.*wink* Hope he doesn't read this...

We had mass in Christ the King. I was struck by the Gospel (I will try do a separate post on this). I always feel great after every mass that I attend to and I'm glad I was able to bond with HIM... that day that I was feeling so low.

coffee or tea?

my favorite beverage now

I started drinking coffee when I was in 4th year college. I needed it to be awake ‘till the wee hours of the morning for me to squeeze in everything that has to be done in a day (well, until 4am!) 24 hours seemed not enough for me to finish my school works, it was just so excruciating! But do I have any choice? Honestly, coffee helped me passed college (especially my thesis) with flying colors! *laughs*

Since then, I’ve been a coffee drinker. It keeps me going at work. Being in a fast-paced multinational company like HP, I needed something to make myself a key player to the team. Coffee and yosi, nice combination. Energy-booster. Then, it became a habit. Until this article caught my attention...

Listen up, coffee drinkers! This is an excerpt from the article of Lipton's ad. I have to agree with this. =)

You know that it’s all in your mind---small decisions here and there that multiply faster than you think, lifelong dreams that sometimes seem so real and yet in a split second seem to wander off completely. You know your mind can one day be a mine of ideas and suddenly a mountain of data. So what better way to begin any hurdle than having things clearer in your head? At the end of the day, it all boils down to having a clear mind.

There’s a world of difference between simply looking and truly seeing, between hearing and listening, between capturing information and crystallizing ideas. When your head is clear, it means you’re in place and everything around you falls in place as well. It means your feet are on the ground---you’re quiet but strong, you’re calm but collected. It also means you’re alert and ready to take on anything on your path.

And the secret to a clear mind is no rocket science, and follows no mind-boggling formula. It’s as simple as a cup of tea. Yup- it’s time to turn a new leaf and experience the power of tea. Like the rest of the world, you well know that Tea is good for your body- but are you aware of the wonders that tea can do to your mind?

Research has finally named the secret that has linked tea with mental vitality. It’s called Theanine and it’s found almost exclusively in the tea plant. Not a lot of people may know what it is but Theanine is certainly one of the big reasons why more and more are turning to tea nowadays as their beverage of choice.

Scientific research had validated the link between Theanine and a perfect state of calmness. Theanine is the very reason why you’re not a hyperactive when you drink tea as compared to when you drink coffee. But it’s also the reason why you don’t feel sleepy when drinking tea. In short, it’s the Theanine in your cup of tea that calms you in just the right way to put you in place and bring you to your “comfort zone”. And just as you’re perfectly settled, Theanine raises your level of mental alertness by stimulating your brain to increase its production of alpha brain waves. The effect is higher mental focus, better concentration and sharper memory. Studies have also pointed out how Theanine could effectively promote creativity. Now that’s when the miracle of Theanine unfolds. The unique combination of relaxation and alertness, of increasing mental sharpness while at your most comfortable state of mind and body, results in this renewed clarity of thought and mental vitality. Cup after cup after cup, the power of the leaf brings you to your natural groove.

Ms. Santa and Mr. Jester

Xmas party 2003.

Xave is really fun to be with. With all his hilarious gestures & dance steps, funny songs na pang kalma nya sakin lalo na kapag nagiinit na ulo ko at mga kakengkoyans na pang asar nya, I just can't help but laugh & laugh in the middle of our petty quarrels. It's really hard to hide my smiles and laughters kahit na serious at galit na ako. Kainis! As we mature, grow individually and grow as a couple the more we turn out to be "good friends". We feel so lucky that we are not just in a relationship but we're also the BEST OF FRIENDS. I never had qualms telling him what's on my mind and what I'm feeling 'coz I know he listens and talks with his heart and no matter what happens, he would accept me for what and who I am. It's such a happy feeling! This guy is a TRUE FRIEND, lucky are those who are friends with him. He thinks of other people first before himself. Sensitive. Sincere. Sweet. Protective. Loves his friends and family. A metrosexual---we enjoy doing "sort-of-vain things together": footspa, going to the salon, trying out new hair wax, serum, shine control gel, skin care and more other stuffs. I love this person!!! =)

My BEE

meet Xave, my BEE =) you'll get to read more of him here. ;)

here's another one... 

sorry, i'm practicing how to put pics on my blog! 

Secrets to a Blissed-out Bond

I just want to share with you. I could definitely relate!

This is an excerpt from article of Dana Hernandez in the August issue of Cosmopolitan. Read on…

“Deliriously happy couples haven’t been blessed by the love gods---they’ve just adopted certain habits that keep their twosomes tight. Crib their relationship rules.”

“Deeply connected couples aren’t born. They’ve simply mastered certain principles that strengthen their link and maintain that initial magic.

Some women expect their man to posses romantic ESP but unless he’s been tuning in to Oprah, he won’t be able to decipher what’s bugging you and he’ll be pissed off that you’re expecting him to figure it out. Rock-solid couples however, dispense with the guessing games and vocalize exactly what’s eating them. Blissful relationships are built on strong communication, which means telling each other your thoughts and explaining what you want or need without pulling punches. Forcing your guy to read your mind while you brood only breeds resentment.”


I feel so lucky to have Xave in my life. I know he’s the one I prayed for long ago and God’s gift to me. It’s such a great feeling to be friends with you boyfriend and I can really say that the more we are together the more we become best of friends.

Xave and I have these bond-boosting thingy that we enjoy doing together. To name a few:
- foot spa every other Sundays
- going to the salon to groom our locks
- shopping together and we end up having his and hers of anything we buy =)
- playing monopoly
- watching tv/dvds
- surfing the net
- food tripping

- singing our favorite songs
- pictorials *laughs*
- sharing our dreams in starbucks
- beauty and fashion

In the process he became a metrosexual, maybe because of my influence. And I love it!!!

I strongly believe that open communication is the key to have a good quality relationship. Being together everyday is not enough if you neglect talking. Even simple updating with each other can make a difference. Our life is an open book to each one of us. We don’t keep secrets and I don’t regret it. We also encourage each other to have a life of its own---he can go out with his guy friends without me and me hang out with friends. There should be a room for growth. Not just for the both of us (as a couple) but also as individuals. Life is too short to spend it exclusively with one person. It’s not bad to have friends, we love being with our friends. We get to learn things from their experiences at the same time share ours, too.

the gift

It’s been almost four years since I was asking God to give me the ability to forgive people. Especially this one person who has hurt me the most. It never came maybe I wasn’t ready yet.

The golden rule says, “Do to others what you want others to do unto you.” I believe in karma but never wish it to anybody even to the least person I like. Moreover, to the person I hated the most. Never…I’m not evil to do that. I fear God.

Time came that my mind was willing to forgive and forget, but not my heart. It was a long battle.

Thinking back, I realized that you have to go through processes first before forgiveness will be granted to you. I used to be stiff and idealistic. I abhor change in every aspect of it. Maybe that was my personality…

I was brought up by my family that way. All of my memories were good. My childhood was the best. I felt everything was perfect. I felt I was lucky. I had great expectations of life and thought I can be in control of everything that may happen in my life. I bumped into reality when my Daddy passed away and the time I was cheated by Xave. These experiences made a great impact on me. I had the baggage for years. I was in denial. Of all people, why me?

I know life is no bed of roses. You have to step on the thorns from time to time for you to be strong, learn to pick up the pieces and fight. Yes, it was a struggle for me. I felt that I have to overcome it. Faith and acceptance helped me go through the stage. I realized that if I continue to deny the feeling, it will just eat me up and I will be miserable. I’ve learned to go on with my life. To accept things as they come for I believe all things happen for a reason. Whatever it is, a challenge for me to find out.

Time heals all wounds. Not in my time but in God’s time. Finally, it came when both my mind and heart were prepared. Sometimes, you have to deal with the subject face to face. Yep, my worst enemy came face to face with me. The hurt feelings…I can no longer feel! I didn't notice, it was the start of a new beginning.

To make the story short, I’ve became friends with my worst enemy. What a great gift from God. The sad part, she has to deal with the same issue as ours with her present boyfriend---third party. Most terrible, the other woman got pregnant! Honestly, I’m not happy with the things are going with her now. I wanted to help her overcome it. I give opinions but I let her decide what move to take. I can’t help but reckon that it’s her turn to learn lessons…yeah, maybe in a harder way than mine but sooner or later she will be thankful that things happened to her. She will be happier after all these. She just has to get through with it.

The only thing that is constant in this world is CHANGE. If I won’t be flexible enough to embrace change, I’d always be in depression. Why waste time being gloomy wherein I can be blissful? With these experiences, I’ve learned to loosen up, laugh about life wherever it takes me and see how I can help others in any way I can.

Life is so beautiful…we just have to look around and appreciate things.

Cyl

Cyl is getting married tomorrow, August 14. A close friend of mine since college days. She’s also one of my true friends despite the not so good things that happened between us in the past which is a normal occurrence to anybody. Well, everything is forgotten but we never had a chance to talk about it. She’s the type of person who hates confrontations. But still, I love her and will forever be a dear friend to me.

Most of my memories in the past we’re spent with her. We’ve been party goers, dorm mates, officemates…I’ve always been true to my friends and I don’t oblige them to reciprocate the same intensity of honesty I show them. It’s their call. Though I get upset sometimes, of course but I have to accept the imperfections in her because she’s my friend. I also had shortcomings; I’m not a perfect friend, either. I’ve been guilty of not being with her when she needed me most. =( I wanted to make bawi and be in one of her most unforgettable moments in life---her wedding. I cannot attend due to some circumstances and it saddens me. =(

They’ll be leaving for the states afterwards. Yup, I have this separation anxiety. She’s so dear to me, like a sister I never had. I’ll definitely miss her. *sob…*

5 Things I Learned From a Lousy Job

1) Do what you love…and the money will follow.
- Idealistic as it sounds, it’s true. I just about lost my sanity because I wasn’t happy because it wasn’t a job I felt passionate about. It’s nice to get paid for being happy.

2) Listen to your heart.
- I believe in signs. If getting up everyday to go to work seems excruciating, if it seems that you’re PMS-ing all the time, maybe it’s time to reassess your career.

3) Allot some “ME” time.
- Sometimes, no matter how much we love our jobs, the stress and routine of work will get to us. How to kick back from that? Spend some quality time with the most important person in your life: YOU. Sometimes it just feels so good to be alone.

4) All work and no play is just that ---all work.
- When I feel the need to detoxify in the middle of a truly hectic workday, I whip out my kikay kit and put make-up on, or have a cup of coffee or light a cigarette. Make-up, coffee and yosi are all therapeutic and boost my energy for the rest of the day. So I put those breaks to good use. You need it, and you deserve it.

5) It’s all about balance.
- Learn how to juggle family, friends, health, integrity, and work. Wherein the first four are made of glass, while work, is known as being fragile is actually a rubber ball. If something screws up, work will always bounce back. Work is just one aspect of your life. So don’t ever lose yourself in work.

My advice for anyone who is unhappy at her job? When in doubt, leave!

Work to live, not live to work. There’s a big difference between making a living and having a life. Be a lifeaholic…not a workaholic.

think...think...think...

I've been contemplating on going back to work. It was almost a year now since I was employed. Though I have a business to take care of, it's not yet operational. Construction is still on-going and it's like taking forever to finish because of the rainy season. I'm not used on being idle, I easily get bored and I'm beginning to have bore-buster shortage! Suggestions, anyone? =)

I believe in signs and I pray for them. I don't ask for specifics for HE might give it to me even though it's not meant for me (I don't like that...). Going back to work would be a big adjustment for me. Leaving my comfort zone for the nth time. Why not? I've done it once when I left HP---fat pay check, conveniently living in a condo, paying my own bills, and buying anything my heart desires. I was never content. Leaving all these, was a big debate in my mind but I was proud I did it in exchange of finding myself. I never seriously looked for a job. I've some criteria to meet---I wanted to try something new and different. Something I will enjoy doing. Tried going back to HP, had my interview. I knew then, it wasn't for me. Not the one I wanted.

....to be continued

Live And Let Go

Whether it's love or a job, its good to get a grip and just as important to loosen it.

Sure, it's apealing to hold on to something with near-martyr determination. But sometimes the wisest move in the growing up game is to walk away from the board. In my quest to find the best live-life-to-the-fullest strategy, I often resort to techniques I had been trained to use in childhood: try and try until you succeed. Everyone loves a never-say die kind of girl, but how can you even enjoy all the adoration when you've just about killed yourself trying? Whether it's a job, a relationship gone sour, or pants that no longer fit, I keep in mind that I always have the option to turn away from it. In other words, try something else. Something different.

Growing up, I don't remember ever hearing this kind of advice. I don't recall being told to "quit and try something else". But I personally believe that when a door closes, more windows will be opened. True enough, leaving my previous job opened me to more opportunities. One is a chance to start my own business which I never thought would be possible at this early stage of my life. Though I'd still love to go back to the corporate world, I would prefer a consumer industry this time. Again, this is a different story.=)

Applying the same principle to relationships, a friend once confessed that she was no longer happy with her long time boyfriend. When I told her to leave him, she stiffened and reasoned that they had been through so much as a couple and sayang naman if she didn't make it work. I wanted to say that it wasn't working already. But the lessons that stay with me are the ones I learn on my own. If I'm not happy, I don't gag myself with the guilt if I end the relationship. If a guy no longer moves me, why not call it quits and move on?

All this, of course, easier said than done. After all, the whole act of letting go without breaking apart is a dissertation on its own. I always keep in mind that life is not one straight tightrope that I have to keep walking. The more roads I travel, the more divergent they are, the more I experience out of life. It's better to experience as much as you can. Be fearless!(except to God, of course) Saying bye-bye to something or someone may be a bitch, but it can also be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Enigma

I'm having these series of images, ideas, emotions occurring involuntarily in my mind during certain stages of my sleep and often times, it annoys me.

I dreamt of *Oreo* again! I've been dreaming about him countless times for so long now. After our 'so called' closure, if we can call it that way, because nothing was really put into end. (He has someone and I have mine, both rocky during that time.) I try not to think of him at all. Yep, I'm honest enough to admit it.

The moment our eyes met the first time, I felt there was something to explore. I was frightened so I decided to do everything to avoid him, or atleast not to be of speaking terms with him because of my boyfriend.

The more I stay away, the more we'd endlessly bump into each other. Again, my curiousity challenged me. I hate regrets so, I opted to see where will that chance take us. We had our moments. We enjoyed hanging out together, talking, just simply being together. (ooops! it's not what you think.) I can say that we somehow fall for each other... well, I'm speaking for myself this time=) I was moved by him. It became complicated for me (translation: what's with us?) because no one wanted to talk about it. No one was braved enough to start. Ok, fine...I was willing but he has his own fears which remained unknown to me. If one is willing & brave and the other is willing but mousy, nothing will happen. To make the story short, we chose not to delve into it further.

I continued with my life project: live life to the fullest. I now follow my heart and do what I think will make me happy. Wherein sometimes it requires me to leave my comfort zone and later on finding out that I'm stronger no matter what the outcome. I detest regrets so I have to be strong and brave enough to put my toe in the water. Even if things wouldn't work out, I believe I would be a better person with all my experiences---good or not so good.

But then again, it boggles me at times on why he keeps on recurring in my dreams. Is there something that should be done? Mystery.

Chronic Shopper?

I don't just like to shop, sometimes I NEED to shop---especially when I'm in a bad mood. It makes me feel better! Sometimes I habitually buy things I don't need (translation: I love to hoard stuffs, takot maubusan). There are times I get into fights with my boyfriend because of my spending habits. Often times, (if I can get away with it) I lie about how much I really paid for the stuff I bought. =) Oh, shopping can be an addiction, bad as gambling. Yeah, maybe Xave is right. I'm a shopaholic. Uhm, shall I say I'm a bit of a shopaholic...uhuh, but I will never ever admit it to Xave! =) *wink*

Newbie

OK, this blog thingy has been arousing my curiousity for some time now and finally I've decided to give it a try. Why not? Let's see where will this take me... I'm a newbie here, so please bear with me. =)