What's your Value?

I’m not asking how much you make each day. Nor even the amount of money in your bank account. But I may ask how old you are; how much more time is left for you to make a “difference”…

There are pros and cons of being away from everyone. In my case, I tend to reflect on my life ---the things I do and what more to do (among others). I usually assess a lot of aspects in my life --- what did well, what went wrong? what needs to be done? If feels nice to have ample time for myself (a.k.a. “me time”), to pray and to catch up on my reading. *smiles*

This morning, I thought of changing a bit of my routine. I had breakfast before shower. I normally do it the other way around. I find it interesting to be seated in one place, observing people around me whilst I eat. *haha* I was in the hotel restaurant at 7am and looked at each people entering the door from different places, different nationalities, who were dressed differently and have variety of food on their plates…Then, I realized the common denominator --- everybody was in a hurry, very busy and seemed like there’s a lot of things running in their heads.

I wonder what’s on their mind...having the power to read peoples’ mind is something I would like to have even for a day. *hmmm*

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

An excerpt from Tuesdays with Morrie

Do you happen to think this way? Have you thought about these questions? I do. I want to make a difference. I want to give meaning to my life and touch lives of people. How? That I have to answer by myself. *wink*

Detach!

Take any emotion --- love for a person, or a grief for a loved one, or fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions---if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them --- you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.’

We fear, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do the relationship.

Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. I will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, ‘All right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.’

Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely --- but eventually be able to say, ‘All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.’

Detach.

excerpt from Tuesdays with Morrie

Thoughts in Bullets

• It’s Friday and I’m home early.
• Red flag and I’m sluggish. Isn’t it obvious on the way I do my blog now?
• I want Ruffles and chocolates but had Hainanese chicken for dinner.
• I’m tired of driving. I wish I could fly to and from my destinations.
• I need a good massage.
• I want to have another hand and foot paraffin session.
• I can’t wait to have my facial --- super long overdue!
• I want to get rid of my braces soonest possible time.
• I like to go to the beach and have a nice tan. I look so white and pale already. I want color on my skin.
• I can’t wait for summer vacation.
• I want another Longchamp this time hmmm, I want it large and in dark color.
• Can’t wait for my Malaysia trip. Zara, Mango at 20% cheaper! Woohoo!
• I need a belt.
• I want a pair of red shoes.
• I need a big and tight hug.
• I just want to be in bed and read a good book.
• That’s why I have to end this (non-sense) post and stop wasting time of my readers. *heehee*

Uh-Oh!

Breathe in, breathe out.

I’m a bit worried errr, terrified as we have a few weeks left before our big day and we still have a number of things to do. Sigh…

What’s giving me jitters is the fact that I have to be out of the country for training for a month! That means, a month of NOT doing any planning and leaving EVERYTHING with Xave. He promised to take care of all the pending though but still, I would want to be in the loop more so very much involved. Oh my, I’m thinking of letting this training pass and attend the next one instead but we still do not know when will be the next schedule of training as it is done by batches however still depending on the number of participants.

I have a long list of ‘To Dos’ in my mind running now. I’m beginning to panic! Waaaaaa! I can't sleep, I can't move.

Breathe in, breathe out!

Thought Balloon

It’s Sunday once again and tomorrow is another Monday…back to work!

I’m staring at my closet and thinking of what to wear tomorrow. I usually think of my work clothes at least a night before if not for the entire week. (I list them down actually) I would want to have a wardrobe plan if I may call it that way. Why?

Every single minute counts! I habitually spend too much time on changing clothes one or two times before I hit the right one and for me that is waste of time and worst, I end up late in the office. I want to kick some bad habits and be organized (see my new year resolution #7). *teehee*

Now going back to my closet, I see a lot of stuffs in there but I can’t pick anything. *guffaw* I realized, I have so many things ignored and still hanging in there eating a bunch of space. Uh-oh, I need to de-clutter and probably give away things I never touched for eons now. Believe me, I have a lot! Umm, (thinking again) de-cluttering will make my closet eventually be emptied! *hahaha* So, going on shopping can be justified, don’t u think so? *wink* It’s 2008 anyway. I can’t even remember when was the last time I shopped for work clothes. Am I breaking my new year resolution #4? *hahaha* Please say "NO"!

Moving forward, I can’t wait to have my new closet, hopefully a walk-in one in my new room errr, our new room in our very own new place with my dream bathroom. *haha* This is exciting! *giggles*

Uh-oh, it’s almost 10pm and I’m stuck here hallucinating! *muwahaha* I have to rummage through my closet now if I want to have longer slumber tonight. (Getting up in the morning is just hard to do!) There must be something in there that would be great for tomorrow, at least.

I hope you guys spent your weekend wisely! Good night peeps!

Duped!

It is so unbelievable how people can be so rubbish and others be excessively stupid.

A person endlessly cheating a number of people. A lot of past and surprisingly a number of present, too!

Continually breaking hearts.
Persistently giving false hopes.
Continuously benefiting from each of them. (what benefits, DO NOT ask me!)
Ceaselessly searching for new hearts to smash or perhaps lives to shatter.

And yet, still have the conscience to umm, hear mass?

How come after all these nuisances, he/she can still manage to do intolerable things to these people he/she claims he/she loves so dearly. I’m totally confused now. Who among them is for keeps? Yes, I am not using between. If you know your grammar, you know what I mean. *wink*

I’m just so blessed to be marrying a guy with good upbringing and character, who is God-fearing and has high respects not only to people but to me most specially. Who honestly loves me and never hurts me (physically, emotionally and mentally). Oh dear God, thank you very much for this gift! Please have more Xave in this planet! *hehehe*

I just have to blurt this out! Recently, I find many things offensive already. I want to close my eyes and pretend to be mute, deaf and blind! But I can't!!! *argh!* That's why blogs are made for this purpose. *hahaha* Bow.

If and only if I can do something…but I know I can't because I strongly believe that everything has its time.

Oh well, as they say…if there’s smoke, there’s definitely a fire! I'm just fortunate enough that I have this bionic sense of feeling! *beams* How can some people be so naive? My goodness! If only they can read my mind, hear my whisper and see what I see/saw... *muwahaha*

Sigh.

Geez, super blind item and such a give away! *chuckles*

A Blessing

Here’s my new year pressie that came to our mailbox on the eve of new year.


It’s just so nice to start 2008 right. *wink*

2007 was a good year and I’m looking forward for a better 2008 not just for me but for my family and friends.

I’m determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be. For I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and NOT upon our circumstances.

Be positive. I always believe that a strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. By changing the inner attitudes of our minds can change the outer aspects of our lives.

Have faith. There's always a reason behind all things, yes ALL THINGS! *wink* You just have to patiently wait for the right time and answers will eventually unfold right before you.

For many times, I've been a witness of this and as much as possible I want other people to strengthen their faith, too. My small way of repaying the good deeds that are coming my way.

DELL

It's official.

I’m joining DELL January 2, 2008 but I’m requesting to start on the 7th instead. I feel I need more breathing time.

I’m actually so overwhelmed on how things are going in my life. (read: new job, a wedding, et.al.) No wait, it’s not what you think…I’m happy to get these blessings at the right time. I just have the tendency to be hmm, in panic most of the time if not all the time. *haha* Something I would like to get rid by 2008. *resolutions, as if!* I’ve been wanting to be always in composure. *really huh?*

So! Honestly, I’m having some unwanted feelings and thoughts. Yes, I’m a bit skeptical or maybe the right word to use is worrisome. I’m starting to worry about a lot of things! I don’t know…perhaps I’m having this “fear of the unknown” maybe because new things are on my way and they are happening at the blink of my eye! Or maybe, I just need my usual dose of sugar? Yes, bars of chocolates! *muwahaha*

Umm, power of mind, that’s the best approach to use. Thinking that everything would be fine. *inhale-exhale*

I know that most of you will find me so uncanny. *smiles* I recognize that. I’m whimsical! *beams*

4 days to go ‘till Christmas!

Some Things JUST Change

I notice, something unusual is happening to me…

Hmm, for the longest time I’ve been wanting to use Pink as our motif. Then, I thought I’ve overly used it already during my debut party. Next level/choice please…

I used to be fascinated with colors and when I say colors, loud and bright colors! And then I like Butterscotch, Tangerine and Fuchsia as our wedding motif. I feel these are the right colors in time for our wedding. Aside from the fact that March is summer time, Xave and I love happy colors. So, why not reflect that on our big day?

Then one day, I had an urge to totally switch to a more elegant and classy tones so that made the Bronze, Gold and Pewter as our FINAL motif. Dark colors for a change. I’m glad our entourage and Xave like it. They say, these colors are easier to use/match and I agree.

Timeless.

P.S. Another good friend is celebrating her birthday today. Happy birthday Cyl! I hope to catch you soon! Miss you girl! *mwah*

Let Go and Let God

Excerpt from KC's blog:


God didn't live to teach us how to want more...His life was about the challenge of letting go. They say, let go of something first, go down first, and you'll earn the kind of faith that'll allow you new beginnings and the freedom to grow.

Hmm, makes sense.

Livin' Life

I don’t know why I’m being emotional lately. Too many expected and unexpected things are happening around me. I used to be so deadma before but now, I noticed that I’m getting responsive each day. I don’t want to think that I’m just PMS-ing. Definitely not! I deeply care for the people close to my heart.

In every event that happens (big or small things that move me) I tend to always find the purpose/s behind it. Sometimes I’m successful but there are times I am not. But that will never dampen my spirits. Life is not perfect anyway.

I feel blessed to be spared from a number of appalling situations any normal individual can experience. Well, I had my share of grievances also and they were all heartbreaking and life changing! If I could turn back time, I would still want to go through those times, I will not leave out anything as those pains, heartaches, and tears made me the person I am now.

I gained a lot of lessons from those experiences and I would like to share these to people. I’m a pusher, I push people to accept whatever comes their way, embrace change and dance to the music of life. How can you enjoy life and be happy if all you do is sit in a corner, watch and envy people, regret situations and dream without making any moves?

I’m not saying my life is perfect, it isn’t! I also have personal issues to deal with, problems to think about, bills to pay and future to plan and prepare.

I take things one day at a time. If I get tired, I take some time off. I try not to think of other people but myself only (even just for a few hours). I make sure I have my “me time”. Sometimes, it’s nice to be alone and away from anybody. I deserve it, everyone deserves it!

Expect the Expected...and the Unexpected!

Sometimes in life we have to suddenly face situations, which we can only think of in our wildest nightmares. When we imagine ourselves to be in a difficult situation, we derive more thrills out of it, because we are actually not experiencing it in real life and at the same time we are having a marvelous adventure.

The unexpected always gives us more excitement than the expected.

However, there are times that I think people have to spare some time preparing for the unknown the same way they plan for the expected.

P.S. Xave and I are giving this book to help and guide our dear friend, KM as she takes this journey of her life. Xave has something for you, too --- Chocolate milk! *wink*

BEE = Xave & Tammy

These pictures speak a thousand words…





He’ll be back tomorrow.

Missing him… *pout*

Ewwwww....

I’m outgoing.
I love meeting people.
I’m okay with diversity.
I’m adaptable to change.

But I’m just human to simply lose patience on unbearable people.

People with acid words, mind and manners, never heard of GMRC.
People who live in fabrication.
People reaping benefits from others for not having anything but keep on pretending to have everything.
People we wish we never bumped into.
People we crave to be out of our sight more so our system.
People we hope to disappear in the thin air like POOF!

PARASITES. Deserve to be in the woods. Insecticides, anyone?

Wake Up Call

Expectation. A strong belief that you or someone will or should achieve something.

Contentment. A state of happiness and satisfaction.

Expectations and contentment, more often than not comes hand in hand.

People always long for better and the best. Unstoppable wants and needs. Never satisfied. And this makes people upset, disheartened and depressed. The more we want, the further we expect. Oftentimes, we step down on others toes just for us to get what we want and be up there. Promotion is one example. Any position is never enough.

Most of us are busy endlessly planning for the future and we tend to forget that present is our life. Putting much effort, time and yourself in planning for the future is not my core. I do think about the future and I, too have long term plans but I better live in the present because I don't wanna miss life.

Balance is the key.

I unfailingly believe that to be able to have a happy life, one should appreciate and embrace whatever comes his/her way. Good or bad will make one a better person. As most people say "charge to experience".

I am a student of life. I like the way how I experience my existence.

Road Trip + Surprise Call

I skipped work today to avoid the NLEX traffic. I can't conceal my excitement while I drive myself to Bataan. I miss my Bee very much. I can't wait to see him, hug him big and tight. I miss how he makes each day of my life euphoric.

Driving alone makes me reflect on things and do crazy stuffs to wriggle out boredom and sleep.

1. I had movies in my mind. Situations and scenarios that I would like to happen anytime in the future. Sometimes, it's just so high to day dream and when I dream, I dream big. *heehee* Why not? It's free!

2. Had a new playlist in my iPod. Played them in full blast and I was singing like I was in my solo concert. *haha* Thanks to my magic tint, my identity was guarded. *battling eyelash*

In between, I was chomping Kitkats.

Almost an hour after reaching the farm whilst I was in a middle of my nap, I heard "How to Save A Life" playing. It was my phone ringing pala. I'm in total disbelief to receive a call from Mr. BB.

If you're a frequent reader of my blog, you know who he is. For the benefit of those who happen to bump my blog just now, Mr. BB is the Country Manager of this company I called "my first choice" in my previous entries. The company I've been meaning to be part of. The same company I was about to join in 2005 but missed on purpose because of Samsung's counter offer. I almost regret missing that opportunity but as I've said I never deplore anything in my life. I always believe that things happen for a reason. You may not understand in the beginning but later on when the right time comes, the justification of that action or event will unfold.

Missing an opportunity is one thing, getting it for the 2nd time is something! No more turning down this time. I'm gonna grab it! *beams*

Live, Laugh and Love

Later in life you’ll learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You’ll learn that love doesn’t mean yearning and company doesn’t mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and gifts aren’t promises. You learn to build all your roads today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.

After a while, you’ll learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant you own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You’ll learn that you can endure, that you are strong and you have worth.

Learn to live, laugh and love!

My Round of Blogs

If time permits me, I do my round of blogs --- old friends, lost long friends, friends that are miles away from me, bag reviews, fashion (what’s in and what’s out), gadgets, and more others that arouse my curiosity.

I carefully choose what to read. Hopping from one blog to another is like shopping for good books and magazines to read. I always wanted to make sure I learn something from my readings because I love to share. If I bump on good reads, certainly they’ll go straight to my bookmarks and I hit that save button. Good times!

What do I like to read?

REAL STORIES of course! Definitely not "MADE UP STORIES" or "EXAGERATED ENTRIES". I don’t understand why these exist? To make the writer feel good about himself/herself worst, to just have something to write and publish? Pathetic isn’t it? *hahaha* I just don’t know why posers are everywhere. They should have chosen scriptwriters as a career. They’d be able to get benefit and earn from their mere imagination. I just don’t get it why people tend to be so UNREAL. Do they get peace of mind in doing this crap? If they get certain euphoria on it, then I would like to be one of them, too! *muwahahhaa*

Seriously, I pity people living in illusion. For the longest time, I’ve been gravely thinking what made them live in delusion. Fallacy blogs don’t have a space in my bookmark. More so, fakers don't have a place in my heart. Soweee...

Something to Ponder

We can be happy once we understand that the only place we will ever find genuine happiness is right inside us. Happiness begins at the point of acceptance: the point where we stop questioning why life can’t be perfect and accept our life as the Lord wills it.

Bull's Eye!

Uh-huh, I’ve survived my 1st week at work. *battling eyelashes* I’m a bit frustrated though. My team is so young and inexperienced and that means they have to rely on me 100%! *slaps forehead* That also denotes I have to educate/train them to unleash their full potential. Oh well, *sigh* it’s really a big responsibility for me to mentor them. It’s a make or break for me.

If I am a bad person, I will shrug it off. Who cares if they don’t have the basic skills in corporate business? Who cares that they haven’t heard about funnels or pipelines? Who cares if actual, target, forecast, achievement rate and delta are never part of their vocabulary? I care. These people need me.

Having subordinates is very new to me. Honestly, I don’t know how and where to start because most people are resistant to change. Obviously, my personality is totally opposite of them. I’m aggressive, I know what I want and I know how to get what I want. I embrace change. And perhaps, that's why I was put to do this task.

Ok, this is the rationale behind me joining this company. I knew it, I just knew it!

My instinct is telling me that my stint here would be short. How short? I don’t know. It’s not because I don’t want to work with these peolple. Of course not! Once my team can stand on its own without me, that’s the best time for me to bid goodbye and move on to the next challenge…

My instinct never fails me.