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Friday, September 14, 2007

Perplexed

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately on whether I should be going back to work or not. Then, I’ve realized I am missing the days I was busy as a bee. *heehee* I’m not used on being idle, maybe for some time but not all the time. (I also get tired you know…) It’s hard for me to stay put (in a place) for quite a period of time without doing anything. As much as possible, I avoid the passenger seat because I easily get bored! Either I sleep or eat on the entire travel. *haha* If I had to wait, give me a good book or a magazine then, I’ll be on my own.

I always want myself to be challenged. I don’t know why. Maybe that’s my personality. I know my limitations. I always say that I know myself very well --- my strengths and weaknesses. If I am tasked to do something, I tend to ask too many questions. It’s my way of weighing things on how to approach the chore.

Ok, after having an interview with Mr. President, I learned that my next one would be with Mr. MD. *guffaw* *nail biting* and now, they’re looking at two positions for me (either of the two). The first one is the post they originally opened and the second one is a business unit manager for Cisco. Sounds heavy, yes! As this person will be handling the entire business (w/c is fine with me, I did run the printer and consumable biz in Samsung, too by myself!) however, this one has 5 people to supervise (including the product manager). *slaps forehead* Am I in deep trouble now? *haha* I’m a good follower, and as much as possible I don’t want to be heading anything or anyone for that matter.

Confession: I don’t want people to be dependent or to totally rely on me. I don’t want to drive people. I am better follower than a leader. Why? Maybe because I don’t want rules. Making one will make me sick! *heehee* I want to do things at my own pacing. I don’t want to be hurried by people. I take time seriously but usually depend on my mood. *guffaw*

Having said all this, I can’t deny but feel that something is up for me. *sigh* You know, there have been many things that I hate and fear doing but for some reasons, I faced and embraced them. That’s life! The more I hate ‘em, the more they get into my nerves. Well, I’m speaking based on experience.

Most of the times, God wants us to learn and confront our fears. I do like facing my fears, but I can’t help but be afraid sometimes, which is a very normal feeling. Hey, I am human!

Wish me luck! I hope I’ll make a good choice. If it's meant, it will happen. Just have faith. *whew*


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